Free Write #1

How do you write so clearly when the emotions are climbing up your throat, pushing at your wind pipe, crowding your esophagus? What does a writer do when there is too much and too little all at once? You can’t write what you feel because there aren’t words for it yet. It’s all so raw, and you want to get it down on paper so badly, because this, this right here, is what people are made of. This cocktail of yes, no, maybe. This intensity of noises and symphonies, passion and emptiness. How can a person feel so much without exploding? It’s times like these, I believe the people who say we are made of stardust because the things in my head can’t be contained. They are ever expanding. No center point, just bigger and bigger. We hunger and yearn, but it’s not enough. It will never be enough. Destroy and create. It doesn’t matter. There’s this thing inside, and it says reason, purpose. But it’s a folly. We are animals, savage, and instinct. But given the gift, the curse to think for ourselves. Our brains are just a little too big. So much to think, to learn, to feel. God, to feel. I can’t stand how much I feel sometimes. People say I wear my heart on my sleeve. But I know it’s more than that. My clothes are drenched in how much heart I have. My skin prickles and buzzes from the thoughts I can’t stop. It goes faster and faster and faster. You don’t get a break. You don’t need a break. You are strong. You are powerful. You are more than they are. You can do anything. You will be great. You will be the best. Never stop. This is how you get work done. Don’t take those pills, they’ll only slow you down. Just keep going you’re almost there. Almost to the top, and it means so much because all you were ever taught was how to race, how to win. It’s not practice makes perfect; it’s perfect practice makes perfect because if you’re good enough they’ll notice you. And that’s all you ever wanted.

#myworks #freewrite #1 #toomuch