The first time someone called me sir,
I felt every fear and anxiety
I have ever had about my appearance
rise to the forefront of my mind.
I’d been called manly in the past by “friends,”
but this was a complete stanger;
and it wasn’t just a slip of the tongue.
I will never forget the hours upon hours
I spent after that day making sure
I left the house hair down and curled,
Mascara, eyeliner, foundation, blush,
lipstick, nail polish, an earring in each ear.
I would never be mistaken for a boy, again.
Because, for some reason,
girls who didn’t “look” like girls
were, in my mind, thought to be less, or ugly,
or unworthy.
Once I realized how shitty that was,
I did the exact opposite and boycotted everything
I thought to be “girly.”
That wasn’t the answer.
Here a few things I learned, in my twenty two years.
Number one,
My worth has nothing to do with my appearance.
Number two,
If I feel comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt,
That’s what I’m wearing that day.
And number three, the hardest one,
If I feel like wearing makeup or putting on jewelry,
It’s not because I think my value will be greater.
It’s because it makes me happy,
and I don’t give a shit what you think.